READ THIS IF YOU'RE NAUI CERTIFIED
During the weekend, several of our staff were out on a trip to Catalina
Island. With them on the boat were a group of SSI, PADI, and NAUI divers
who were sitting around after the first dive off-gassing. Suddenly somebody
said that they were hungry. Let's have a BBQ! But they soon discovered the
required gear was not on board. "Ok, no problem!" says the PADI instructor,
who jumps overboard, and to everybody's amazement walks over the water to
shore, and comes back a few minutes later with a grill. As they set it up
they realize they have no briquettes to cook with. "No worries!" says the
SSI instructor, and to everybody's disbelief, also walks over the water and
returns with some charcoal. They make the fire and are all set to go when
they find there is nothing to cook. "Not a problem", says the NAUI
instructor as he hops overboard and starts walking on the water. The SSI
instructor looks to the PADI instructor and asks, "When did you tell him
where the boulders are?" The NAUI instructor overhears this, turns around
and replies "What boulders?"...
You know it's been too long since your last dive when..
1..You empty the air out of your tanks so you can go the dive shop to have them filled.
2..You've replaced your fuzzy bunny slippers with a pair of force fins.
3..You shower in full gear.
4..At work, you use a wreck line to find your way back from the coffee pot.
5..You've donned your mask and submerged your face in the family aquarium so many times that the fish hide when they see you coming.
6..You hear somebody say "Mares Plana Avanti Quattro" and think he's talking in latin.
7..You've considered sinking you car in the backyard pool to practice "wreck diving."
8..You're counting down the days to your next dive trip, and it's still a 3 digit number.
9..You've started to log shower's, rain storms, car washes and "swirlees" in you dive book.
10..You have more than two items stacked on top of your dive gear.
11..You wear your dry suit instead of a rain coat whenever it rains.
12..You've made your two-year-old cry because you keep kicking him out of the inflatable pool to "practice entries."
13..You started logging the dives for your aquarium's "Scuba Steve" ornament. Wow, talk about saw-tooth dive profiles!
14..You've actually seen more of your wife and kids than you have your dive buddy.
15..Your tank has a J-Valve.
16..You make "Darth Vader Breathing Noises" 24 hours a day.
17..You've watched "The Sphere" more than once.
18..You wear your gear, sit 6 inches from the TV set watch taped episodes of NOVA and Underwater Discovery for hours at a time.
19..then you take your gear off and fake symptoms of DCS.
20..You're counting the days 'til you day trip to "Possum Kingdom"
21..You've taken down the photos of Pamela Anderson and replaced them with gear ads from Rodale's magazine.
22..Your more excited about finding the new "Scuba Diving" magazine in your mail box than you are about the "Playboy" magazine featuring twins on a trapeze.
23..Your "Hat" says "Dacor" on the side.
24..You're using your weight belt to hold up your jeans.
and #25..
25..You own all the newest gear, and it's never been wet.
